Influencing

Dale Carnegie  was an American writer and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking and interpersonal skills. He was the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, first published in 1936, a massive bestseller that remains popular today. He also wrote a biography of Abraham Lincoln, titled Lincoln the Unknown, as well as several other books.

As you know, we share and delegate responsibility in various tasks of our daily life which only means that we must know how to influence others to get what we want. To influence people we must establish rapport with them first.

 “If you could win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.” --- Abraham Lincoln.

We can start building rapport with a person by creating or discovering things in common.

As Physiology and Tonality plays major role in Communication we must match both with that person to experience and to know his internal representation (his thoughts). To do this we must practice mirroring their gesture, posture, breathing, tone, tempo and volume of their voice.

We must remember not to imitate while mirroring and also be flexible to understand their representational system (visual / auditory / kinesthetic) and model of the world.

 If you can build rapport with right people then you will achieve what you want easily.

After establishing rapport, we can start mediating / negotiating with that person to accomplish the task by engaging in a process called Chunking where both persons start talking with similar interest on the idea to realize the value of the deal and other important details such as logistic etc.

If we can use MILTONS judiciously and reframe appropriately during CHUNKING then negotiating will become easier.

In addition to the above if we know how to elicit the values then persuading will become much more easier.